on a Saturday), and we discussed everything from the rudeness inherent to chronic lateness to how we both hate the book KNOW.
There was one little problem, however, and that was that James already had a wife.
Many questions arise in our minds when we think of getting involved with a divorced guy, it doesn’t necessarily mean all divorced men have complicated lives.
But you need to consider all the pros and cons before dating a divorced guy. A guy who is divorced may have a complicated past or some unbroken threads that are still carried along in the present.
A divorce is very different from a regular breakup, it involves legal matters and other complications and you must be prepared to deal and face all this.
If the divorced guy, you are planning to date, has had a mutual breakup and has ended his marriage on a good note, he may still be in touch with his ex-wife.
You would have to pursue him and mentally prepare him if things need to go somewhere for you to have a serious future with him.
If you’ve been single long enough to have kissed more than your share of frogs, you know a good man is hard to find.
All this information came up over the course of our 10-hour date, and to some extent, the process of James discussing it was akin to someone waving a red flag in my face. The point of course is this: There are some serious pros to dating a divorced guy. The Cons: (I thought we’d get the negatives out of the way first. ” You’ll have to manage her continued pining, her continued pursuit. You will see him see old photos, you will see him cry or scream or fume or mourn. And – lest it bears mention – this is all as much fun as… A guy who’s lived with a woman for a significant period of time has a pretty good sense of what to say and when to say it. If you’re boyfriend’s divorced, you can be 99 percent sure he’s lived with someone else for a while and has a solid understanding of shared space as a result. A divorce is a horrible thing to be sure, but from what I’ve observed, it’s also pretty humbling.Now, before we all get our panties in a bunch, before I get labeled the heinous man-stealer, let me toss out a few more details: James’ wife was on the cusp of no longer being his wife. But to quote Olivia Newton John in her star turn in “Grease,” What I mean to say is that over the course of those 10 hours I couldn’t knock the feeling – despite all those red flags – that James and I might still be a good match. Which brings me to now, two years into our relationship. In this day and age, the briefest jaunt through Facebook reveals significant portions of who this woman is: What she looks like, what parts of herself she likes to advertise.They’d been together for 10 years, married for two. James and I have our ups and our downs in what could be called “still the honeymoon phase.” And many of them, frankly, have to do with how he used to be married to someone else. There’s some immediate satisfaction of knowing, of course. I’m sorry to say it, but this one’s a real lose/lose. The recently divorced man is, with little exception, the recently traumatized man.You should be ready to deal with this situation and the insecurity that you may feel because they have a strong past.A guy who has faced a failed marriage and has got a tag of being divorced might fear getting into another serious relationship.The dance of love they had wanted to embrace may not have been possible with their previous partner, so imagine the thrill of anticipation they have to find a woman willing to learn the steps to tango in this new season of his life.Men who are worth your emotional investment are those who tend to be more vulnerable.Some men who have gone through the pains of divorce have come to the realization that they have made mistakes in the marriage and not only long to make progress in personal development, but hope to enjoy a healthy happy relationship with the right partner.Many divorced men tend to be more passionate because they are unfettered and free possibly for the first time in many years.If you need more convincing, here are 10 more reasons to consider dating a divorced man.We all have our memories of dating in our teens and twenties; the awkward movements, the two seconds of silence that seemed like an eternity, the first phone conversation, the first touch, kiss.