It seems like your partner is two completely different people. Your partner finds faults with your friends or makes you feel bad or uncomfortable about any time you spend with other people. You want to believe that this is possible, but the cycle keeps repeating and each time your self-esteem is chipped away at, bit by bit. He might hit or kick your dog whenever he comes over.
Each time he hurts you, he apologizes and promises that it will never happen again or that he will change. Your partner knows your weaknesses and he goes after your most vulnerable parts, hurting you where he knows it will do the most damage. You feel ashamed, lost, alone, confused, numb, afraid, crazy, stupid, ugly, fat, worthless, embarrassed, unloveable, wrong. Your partner tortures animals, is mean to children, or nasty to waitresses.
Even if you were perfect, your partner would make you out to be completely messed up. They can be funny, easy-going, exciting, attractive. You feel a pull to them, and they make you feel special. They act as if they are the smartest, hottest, richest or most successful person and everyone knows it. You did something wrong first to make them explode.
If he or she does something that is clearly wrong, they will find a way to turn it back around on you. They will even tell you this if they get the chance. The police have always been out to get them even though they never do anything wrong.
One day, he is caring and loving and wonderful, and the next he is hateful and raging and mean. You are afraid to talk, or when you do talk you feel like you are never heard, your words are taken out of context, misunderstood, or blatantly ignored. In the beginning of a relationship they might seem like everything you ever wanted….usually this is because they are trying to act like everything you ever wanted. You have no support group and therefore your partner gains more power. He or she might be mean to people they think are “below them” or people who are defenseless, like babies or children.
Like flipping a switch, he can change drastically from one extreme to the next. He or she acts one way when they are around you, but completely different around your parents, and completely different around their friends. Slowly, you lose your friends until you feel like your partner is the only person you have left. Your partner cycles from mean and vicious to sweet and loving, then back again. He might set traps for squirrels or rabbits and then torture them.
If a teacher fails them, or a coworker says something bad about them, they feel entitled to revenge.I've had anxiety and severe depression since my long relationship break up.A suicide attempt and still occasionally seeing my therapist.This previous letter includes a number of resources and ideas for mental health you may find useful including strategies for coping if you do feel suicidal. Would you, in response, tell her she was a ‘massive loser’ for trying dating and being rejected? Anxiety, depression and confidence issues mean we often say cruel things to ourselves that we’d never say to another person in pain.While you are getting help with your anxiety and depression you may want to find different ways to look out for yourself.That said, it’s also OK to feel sad about what’s happened.One of the problems with the ‘look on the positive side’ approach is it doesn’t allow people to acknowledge how miserable, angry, afraid or distressed they feel when things don’t work out as they wish.Or, if they do something nice for you, they feel entitled to a reward, and if you don’t do what they want, they are entitled to punish you. Your partner embarrasses you in front of other people or talks badly behind your back. They might talk to other people about how bad they have it and how hard it is to date someone like you.They might call you fat in front of your friends, or make fun of your clothes. You don’t understand what went wrong, or why your partner acts the way they do or what you can do to make things better.Here are some signs that might indicate that you are dating a psychopath. You might get mad at people for trying to convince you to break up with your partner, or make excuses for your partner because you are convinced that you are the only one that understands him or her. He or she feels entitled to act the way that they do. You might try to talk about how you are feeling–your partner turns everything around and tries to talk about everything you’re doing wrong. Even when they hurt you, they make you feel bad for the pain it has caused them. They often don’t actually feel guilty about what they have done, only that they were caught. Other people might warn you about dating your partner–if they have a track record of abuse, most likely it is only a matter of time until they abuse you. Your friends and family wish that you would break up.