Hopefully enough time will have past where you are better able to handle being in touch without all the mental hopscotch!Put away the letters, pictures and any personal belongings of your ex.If that seems to drastic, at least put them onto a disc or burn them CD, (stick them in the Cloud, e.g. BUDDY LISTS: As in number two, remove and block them from your buddy lists.on dropbox) and put them somewhere where you won’t be tempted to continually re-read each one over and over. I know you think it’s a minor offense, even quite harmless, to keep in touch with your ex via email or instant messaging programs, but the only one you’re fooling is yourself. Often you just end up spying on them, checking to see when they are on (and wondering who they are talking to if it’s not you! If they do actually message you, you end up over-analysing each message they send, or worse yet, you get hurt when they tell you they are off “out” that night (and don’t say where).Both men and women can also benefit from picking up some new items of clothing that make us feel sexy. Treat yourself as you would want that someone ‘special’ to treat you. It may sound silly but it’s very powerful step that you can take to cleanse the situation and start fresh.Have candle lit dinners – with all of your favorite foods – just for you. I have known some people to actually go out and buy whole new beds. There is something to be said for sleeping in bedding with no history and no memories.I also suggest writing down GOOD stuff that happens to you on a daily basis.
(Well, most of us do anyway…) Heartbreak seems to affect us similarly – whether we are young or old, famous or not, rich or poor, and irrespective of where we are geographically.Do something so simple as to having a manicure, facial or a massage.Or, maybe purchase that nifty gadget you’ve had your eye on. )Whatever treating yourself means to you – do it periodically to perk yourself up a bit!For the early days/weeks, I suggest that you just box up all of the stuff until you feel ready to face it.Eventually you’ll be able to look at the holiday snaps without feeling sick to your stomach, but not right now. In a year’s time, or whatever, if you do still feel like dumping or even torching the stuff, then do it somewhere safe – like the beach!Again in time you can re-add them back to your phone but in the early days, weeks or even months, keeping them out of the phone can be a wise move, in order to resist that all-consuming desire for contact!EMAILS: Similarly, if you can bring yourself to DELETE all of the old emails between you, then do it.You may also be able to bar their number from your phone too.Deleting your ex’s details will save you phoning or texting at 4am to ask “you were dumped, or save you from begging your ex, drunkenly, to take you back.Below are a few of my suggestions that will hopefully help you decrease your recovery time, and maybe minimize the amount of mistakes made along the way…Here’s hoping, at any rate! (“Emotional Rehab”) – which is basically just my way of saying that it might be “time to go cold turkey” – at least for a little while!As tempting as it is, if you are still in love with your EX, and he or she doesn’t reciprocate the feelings and intensity, then you’re better off making a clean break. Most people choose to ignore my advice, and remain their ex’s friend – somehow imagining if they do continue to be this wonderful, supportive friend, their EX will miraculously see the err of their ways – and take them back. Now some of you will insist on remaining “friends” with your ex (or have to due to classes, jobs or children together), so if you are attempting this, be sure to set some ground rules.